When to Shut Up in Meetings

You're in sprint planning. Engineering just said "that's a lot for one sprint." You can feel the room tense up.

Here's where most PMs make the mistake.

They start talking. They explain why all five stories matter. They point to the roadmap. They mention the executive ask. They break down the stories to show they're not that big. They promise to help unblock things. They fill the silence with reasons.

And the team stops pushing back.

Not because you convinced them. Because you signaled that pushback isn't welcome. The team goes quiet, accepts the scope, and leaves the meeting with the work. Then they resent you for the next two weeks while they try to hit a goal they never believed in.

Here's what actually works: Shut up.

When the team says "that's a lot," count to five. Let the silence sit. Let them keep talking. Let them tell you what they're worried about. Let them propose cutting something. Let them own the problem you just handed them.

Because here's the thing about sprint planning: it's not a persuasion meeting. It's a commitment meeting. And commitment doesn't come from a PM talking engineers into scope. It comes from engineers talking themselves into what they can actually do.

The best sprint plannings I've been in had PMs who talked for maybe 20% of the meeting. They clarified questions. They helped prioritize when asked. They said "yes, we could cut that" when the team proposed it. That's it.

The worst ones had PMs who defended every story, explained every priority, and filled every pause. The team committed to everything and delivered half of it, poorly.

Your job in sprint planning isn't to get your scope accepted. It's to get the team's commitment. Those are not the same thing.

When someone pushes back, that's not a problem to solve with more talking. It's information. They're telling you something doesn't fit, or they don't understand it, or they don't believe in it.

If you talk over that signal, you don't make the problem go away. You just make it invisible until it shows up as missed commitments two weeks later.

So the next time you're in sprint planning and you feel the urge to defend your scope: don't. Count to five. Let the team talk. Listen to what they're actually saying. Treat their pushback as the valuable signal it is.

The silence might be uncomfortable. But it's a lot less uncomfortable than spending two weeks with a team that resents the work they're doing.

Sometimes the most powerful thing a PM can do in a meeting is nothing.

Sources:

• Marty Cagan on Empowered Teams - SVPG
• Teresa Torres on Product Trios - Product Talk
• The Surprising Power of Questions - Harvard Business Review